I received this question the other day…
How can I get to feeling that “I’m calm and confident” when I am not? I keep telling myself “I’m calm and confident” but nothing is changing.
Telling yourself that is like using an affirmation. Affirmation are relatively useless for long-lasting change unless they are said many, many times. An affirmation will only hit on the level of your conscious mind. And while it can make you feel good and positive in that moment, it doesn’t stick in the subconscious. You didn’t grow new circuitry to it and have no plasticity to grow from it.
So to get an affirmation like “I am calm and confident” to stick, you would have to sit there and say it thousands of times.
The conflict is that inside your brain, you lived through something in your young life that gave you pathways in your brain that say you are not “calm or confident.” It came with an emotional rush and even now probably has a feeling to it.
You took this on as truth. The circuits were built and now it is a basic core belief. And you live by it… that sucks because you are living your program instead of programming your life...
But you want to be calm and confident. You see other people who appear to be every day, so why aren’t you?
Telling your self something that you do not fundamentally believe and cannot produce evidence of in your life will only lead to conflict. Until something happens that jolts you — an experience, or something that ties you neurochemically to the idea of it. To be “calm and confident” is a strong belief that comes from an idea or that that became a belief that you are. Basically, the idea is that the subconscious needs to be able to release and reset the information in the system and learn a new way to feel…
There are a few ways to do this easily:
- Meditation with a heightened emotional state will get you there, eventually.
- Hypnosis will get you there if you have a good practitioner.
- A whole brain state can do it a couple ways — from the idea of an overlay and that if you put something good in over something bad the bad had to leave.
With most people that I work with, what we do is go in and tear down the lie. The thing you have been living by is a lie — one that you were told or that you learned about yourself — that simply is not true.
The reality is you could probably go through your life and point out places where you were calm and confident- but they were fleeting and you never got a good chemical rush that made it stick.
Then we seed in the new information and bring in a heightened emotion to set it in place with the feel-good chemicals in the system.
This is hard for people who have a hard time feeling or allowing the good emotions. Some people had it beaten out of them, physically, and for some emotionally, and for others, it was just stolen from you and you were not allowed to feel the emotions of life…
We have to teach the body a new way to feel… Instead of the old way that will eventually cause disease.
So we start to teach to the body to find the new feeling and hold onto it and add the new circuits that will allow you to think differently.
And then you get to go test it go for a test drive. See how it feels and grow it. Grow the new plasticity — the chemical chains in your brain that will turn into matter.
How do I know it works?? The way we know is by experiential evidence. What fruit are you producing your life to the belief, what is happening in your life that shows you that difference?
You see the fruit all of the time from the lack of the thing you want, or the belief in the lie you tell yourself. It works the same way, except that you will see good fruit and benefit from it.
Hope that helps.
Blessings and Peace,