My story, My Brother.
This is for The Global Women’s Empowerment Conference In Las Vegas- Oct 24th and 25th 2019. Her Story. Click to go to their sign up site.
I was asked to share a part of my story.
My story is a rocky one to say the least- it has been a challenge- but as you open up you realize staying in a better vibration will lead to supernatural events and situations that years ago my mom would have called evil or impossible.
I know that the more you feel better, and realize you have control of the feeling, the better you will feel. It becomes a practice.
My brother killed himself on July 9 th 2018. When I got the news my immediate reaction was just sobbing tears- I couldn’t think. But I wasn’t surprised. He had struggled for a long time- nothing ever seemed to go right and he had a rough life trying to live, make ends meat and help his kids.
Sounds typical. And it was, but because of circumstances from his past it made they ride even more difficult- depression, anxiety, situations he couldn’t understand or handle, people in his life that made it harder than necessary and physical pain that no doctor could figure out all took their toll.
I call my brother brave. He made a decision that changed a lot for many people. His decision some would call selfish- but he was doing what he thought was right for him-
I understood oddly- I think in part because of all of the work I had done for myself up to that point. I was consistently staying in heart coherent vibrations that gave me a new way to feel and to be able to redefine myself.
When he died, I remember standing in his room the next day- The room had been stripped, the carpet around his bed, his bed, the nightstand, the backing of the wall- cleaner than the rest of the room. It was surreal to say the least standing there. Knowing just a few nights before he was sleeping in this same spot.
His salt lamp had been moved across the room, and was sitting on top of a pile of things. As I was standing there I said- “Kirk, what the f***- what happened?” And that salt lamp turned on. I felt a sense of relief, I knew it was him. And I said “Why?” I wasn’t sad or angry- I just wanted to know… it was weird and is still seems weird looking back know that I wasn’t more sad then I was.
In an instant, I felt a rush of air like something swooping in and there he was standing in front of me. He appeared as a younger version, a playful seemingly whole person. I remember thinking, “HEY, WOW” and he stopped me and said “It’s not what you think.” Then he said, “Forget everything you thing you know. None of it is right- you probably are worried I’m going to hell…” And honestly I hadn’t gotten that far yet- but it was something we were taught- suicide is an automatic ticket to hell. He said, ”feel this, NO PAIN-“ he seemed so excited there was no physical pain. Then he said I want you to feel this- and he showed me through feeling the greatest 5 seconds of peace I have ever felt in my life- It stopped time and motion, and has to this day.
That understanding of peace was so intense and great that I will never forget it- It helped me understand- forget everything you think you know.
The rules we were taught to live by are not necessarily the rules of the universe or the way things really work. The governing principle and laws are actually pretty simple. His actions and his peace lead me to understand and believe this on a deeper level than I previously had.
Death is not the end, it is a step. Suicide is a decision that is painful to the survivors- if you don’t have peace.
I bless you with the peace my brother gave me